Sunday, August 2, 2009

Tickle me silly.

From New Album 8/2/09 7:46 PM

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that cause a huge amount of pulsating , rear cleaning, blow drying , rinse cycle laughter.

Today I visited Bardessono resort in Napa Valley.
After having a delightful , albeit petite luncheon I visited the powder room.
There I was confronted with a computerised space age electronic toilet that looked like it had been beamed up from the Starship Enterprise.

Upon opening the powder room door the lights slowly brightened and the toilet seat lifted to greet me, ‘hello toilet’.

All that was missing was a soft whispery voice purring , “ please make yourself comfortable and have a seat”.

After my mission was accomplished I sat in contemplation over the many alluring ‘finishing options’ that I could choose from.

Hummm. Choices.... Should I go for the soft rear cleaning with oscillating or pulsating upright water sprinklers or just a simple front cleaning with a light duty blow job, er umm, I mean blow dry.

And then the question of how long is too long ? I mean, what’s the correct etiquette for this exciting new experience ? And what about sound effects ? Proper ? Improper ? Should I dim the lights, turn on the water faucet ? Hum a few bars to myself ?

I have to admit, I was a little nervous at this virgin voyage and hit the stop button after just a few brief seconds.

Obviously this high tech blow drying bathroom virgin requires a lot more experience to master her flushing domain.


danger garden said...

I recently had my first potential encounter with one of these. I was too afraid to try it. Nightmares of something going horribly wrong and me being all alone in the little room until someone came to rescue me, and of course I would still have my skirt hiked up. No thank you, I'm playing it safe.

Susan aka Miss R said...

Still laughing. The first time I encountered an autoflush in a highway restroom I nearly jumped out of my skin. I'm also happy to see someone else carries their camera with them EVERYWHERE. Thanks for the early morning chuckle--Susan.

Bay Area Tendrils Garden Travel said...

Didn't realize it but I'm a blow drying bathroom virgin, too, and I can't wait to visit Bardessono. Thanks for the tip, and revelatory prose!

ricki - sprig to twig said...

Found your blog via danger garden, and am I glad...need go no further than your subtitle to be hooked.
Confronted with the space age toilet at, of all places, a plumbing supply outfit, I, like Loree, balked. Before I could screw up courage to go back to sample its offerings they had gone out of business.

Deviant Deziner, aka Michelle said...

Hello Goils.

I guess we all have something to look forward to the next time we encounter such a splashy and flashy toilet bowl extravaganza.

For the heck of it I googled the company that makes these wonder bowls and their head line reads " An Experience Beyond Words".

Now that's truth in advertising.

Tom in Denver said...

Hi Michelle,

Very funny stuff! One must wonder about the designers/engineers of those devices and the process of getting that product from an idea to reality! Exactly how does the product salesman demo this for the architects!?!

I've been stopping by your blog for a while and admiring your beautiful plant photo's and your great-looking projects. Living in high and dry Denver I definitely have a case of plant-envy when it comes to your choices in the Bay Area!

Kudos and thanks for your blogging efforts,

Deviant Deziner, aka Michelle said...

Hello Tom,
You might have plant envy but I have location envy.
I LOVE Colorado !
I use to live in Telluride, way before the big bang of development, when main street ( Colorado Ave) was the only paved street in town.
On really cold mornings I could put my skis on in the house, open the door and push off to the ski lift that was just 2 blocks away.
The one year that I lived in Telluride , I got in 103 days of skiing .
Totally miss it.

Tom in Denver said...

Telluride is such a beautiful spot, as are the San Juan mountains down there. How lucky to have lived there for a while.

I haven't been there in a several years but skied the mountain a few times 'back in the day'. Isn't the name of their steepest run called "The Plunge"? lol

Last time I visited several years ago, the mountain village behind the ski area was being heavily built up but the town itself was resisting over-development.

It's still a great spot to visit.