|From New Album 8/2/09 7:46 PM|
Sometimes it’s the little things in life that cause a huge amount of pulsating , rear cleaning, blow drying , rinse cycle laughter.
Today I visited Bardessono resort in Napa Valley.
After having a delightful , albeit petite luncheon I visited the powder room.
There I was confronted with a computerised space age electronic toilet that looked like it had been beamed up from the Starship Enterprise.
Upon opening the powder room door the lights slowly brightened and the toilet seat lifted to greet me, ‘hello toilet’.
All that was missing was a soft whispery voice purring , “ please make yourself comfortable and have a seat”.
After my mission was accomplished I sat in contemplation over the many alluring ‘finishing options’ that I could choose from.
Hummm. Choices.... Should I go for the soft rear cleaning with oscillating or pulsating upright water sprinklers or just a simple front cleaning with a light duty blow job, er umm, I mean blow dry.
And then the question of how long is too long ? I mean, what’s the correct etiquette for this exciting new experience ? And what about sound effects ? Proper ? Improper ? Should I dim the lights, turn on the water faucet ? Hum a few bars to myself ?
I have to admit, I was a little nervous at this virgin voyage and hit the stop button after just a few brief seconds.
Obviously this high tech blow drying bathroom virgin requires a lot more experience to master her flushing domain.